On kids

Dear parents,

I don't mind so much when your kids make noise in restaurants. It usually brings a little smile to my face because I know you're raising a family and hopefully, in some small way making the world a better place by trying to be good parents.

I do mind when you smack your five year old kid across the face and proceed to tell him "I hit you so you'll know who's in charge".

Sincerely,
Gary Owen